If we’re being honest I’ve always felt one way or another that noone has truly ever been in my corner, aside from my high school best friend. I know, you’re probably thinking that’s at least someone, and I know that. But that’s hard to remember when people are off living their lives. Jobs get in the way and take up 90% of our time these days.
So often it felt like noone’s in my corner. I had friends that would and still do come and go, why don’t they stick? Because they’re not genuine and true friends. Friends that come and go are often just around you because you serve a purpose for them and maybe they serve a purpose for you too at the time. Maybe life, again, gets in the way and people move on and become less close.
But I often feel forgotten, can you relate? I feel like everyone gets so caught up with their own lives they forget to think about others (don’t think I’m not guilty of that because I definitely am). Yet, there have been times when I’m the one always checking on “friends” to see if they’re okay. It’s often me making the first move to maintain the “friendship”.
When I stop, so does the “friendship”. Then I’m left thinking; what did I do, for “friends” to stop being “friends”?
Is it actually my fault though? No.
Real and true friendship is a two-way street, there is give and take- just like in a relationship. If one stops giving and the other is only taking, the “friendship” is going to end. There is only so much you can do as the giver and it’s not your fault you’ve given everything and the other person is still all about take.
Finding your people is hard and it fucking sucks at times.
Now, after 9 years I have about 4 people I count as close friends out of hundreds I’ve met over the years (probably not hundreds but you get my drift).
What did I do in those hard times? I worked on myself, I worked hard on my self-love and focussed on my goals. Now, I’m okay with people who at some point I call “friend” coming into my life and then leaving.
Do you know why? Because I know who I am and what I want in a friend. Friendships that end, teach me who I want to surround myself with and who I want in my life. They also show me when it’s time to let them go and to be okay with that. Not everyone is meant for each other- again, like relationships.
It’s okay if you haven’t found your people, they will come. People who come and go will be lessons and will teach you about yourself and what you want in life, as well as what you’re willing/not willing to give.
At the end of the day, as long as you love you that’s all that matters. Rather than fighting for friendships, fight for yourself because you’re so much more important than those who leave. It won’t always be like this and it won’t always feel this shitty.
Better days are coming.
Better people are coming.
Better friendships are coming.
You got this – because you love yourself.
If you don’t love yourself right now, that’s okay too. Find ways to begin loving yourself. It’s truly a game-changer.
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