Childhood trauma is common, which is sad but true. We have all been brought up with parents going through their own shit, with different parenting styles, sometimes with siblings, sometimes not- either way it can be just as lonely. Often, we don’t even know that the things we experienced as kids was considered trauma.
Trauma, defined as “a deeply distressing or disturbing experience” can be:
- Being harshly judged and/or criticised,
- Having your feelings denied and/or dismissed,
- Having a parent who lives through you,
- Not being genuinely heard, understood, or seen,
- Not being allowed to say what you’re really feeling,
- Having to perform (academically or otherwise) to feel validated, to receive love, or understood,
- Being compared to other siblings and/or friends,
- Having a parent who focusses on looks,
- Being told directly that you shouldn’t feel a certain way,
- Being made to do things that made you feel uncomfortable to keep up family appearances (e.g., kissing a family member, playing with kids who hurt you etc.),
- Having a parent choose their significant other over your feelings and needs,
- Divorce or separation of your parents,
- Abuse to you by a family member(s),
- Domestic violence,
- Being bullied by a sibling and/or their friends.
Trauma it seems, is inevitable in life. At some point (or points) in our lives trauma will occur & it will forever change who we are. Often, it’s for the worst, but doesn’t always have to be. Here are some tips for overcoming childhood trauma:
- Take the time to understand your past, whether that’s by yourself of with a psychologist.
- Understand how your past has contributed to your current (or past) environments, relationships, self love, self worth, and struggles.
- Become more compassionate towards yourself.
- Take responsibility for loving, caring, and protecting yourself now and in the future.
- Try not to hate your parents, blame others for problems or stay in the cycle of self pity.
- Remember that the childhood trauma you experienced wasn’t your fault and that you are worthy of love, acceptance and respect.
- Radiate the things you need and you shall receive them in abundance.
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